Safe Driver: Skills for Life - Part 1

Driving is a very peculiar thing in American culture. Virtually everybody drives in America and we place great emphasis on the kind of car we own and the type of drivers we are. This alone suggests that we are a little dumb, so it's not surprising that there are so many stupid drivers on the road and so few safe drivers. What we don't do in America is learn to drive safely and smartly. In fact, there are many, many driving skills we can learn that will make us safe drivers and will also improve our lives: patience, awareness, emotional balance and more.

Most people, particularly men, tend to think that they are great drivers - the best on the road - and that everybody else driving around them is an idiot. This makes for roads filled with egotistical, know-it-alls with short fuses and driving skills, if bad, are nearly impossible to fix. After all, if you know everything about driving and all the drivers around you are imbeciles, then you're doing something right and they're doing something wrong. Why should you change? And do we really think that these "skills", these learned behaviors, don't transfer to our daily lives. If you are an angry driver who easily loses his patience, are you also an angry person?

The driving skills in this guide will make you a better driver and a safe driver, but they will also apply to everyday life. The driving skills you learn here will improve both your driving and your life. Though you may have to change some of your habits and you may find that you're not the driver you thought you were, the ultimate result of reading and following these ten easy steps is that you'll drive more safely, have fewer accidents, live longer, and be happier on the roads. What could be better than that? Your driving skills will improve and your life will improve.

What authority do I have to write a guide about better driving? Of course, I am one of the greatest drivers on the road today (a genius in a land of imbeciles, naturally). I also have a very high IQ and the odds are really good that I'm smarter than you are (or just pretend to be). Trust me, this is just a fact. Believe it. Despite the fact that I'm surrounded by many drivers who couldn't successfully navigate their way around an empty parking lot, I have never hit one of them. I've been driving for almost thirty years and I can honestly say that I've never, ever hit anybody in my car. I have been hit a couple of times though. The first time I was ever in an accident, I was entering the highway and was side-swiped by a car changing lanes at high speeds. After this car hit me (doing several thousand dollars worth of damage and causing a flat tire), the driver of the car took off, never to be seen again. From what I saw, it was very likely this driver was underage and uninsured.

Because I owned a relatively inexpensive car at the time, I was not carrying collision coverage and hoped that when I reported the accident to the police, they would solve the crime and I would be compensated for the damage to my car in some way. Would you like to know what the officer in charge of the investigation actually said to me over the phone? "We do not investigate crimes against property." That's what he said. No further action was ever taken by the Denver Police Department and my car was never fixed. Like I said, avoiding accidents can save you money in more ways than you know.

The second accident I had occurred as I was sitting at a stop light after a snowstorm. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a 60's Ford Mustang headed my way. Being that the roads were slick, it was pretty clear this car wasn't going to be able to stop. Sure enough, I got rear-ended. Fortunately, I was still driving the car that had been side-swiped in the previous story, so I wasn't that concerned about the additional damage. Clearly, this woman could have benefited from the information in this guide since she didn't understand the relationship between the mass of her car, the direction of her momentum, and her ability to stop on a slick surface. After reading this guide, you will understand these things better and learn ways to help prevent accidents. This last accident was twenty years ago.

Since I'm also offering to help you avoid costly traffic tickets, I should fess up about my ticket history. I received my first ticket during my first week as a driver. As I remember, it was something about a bad tail-light or something. The next ticket I received was crossing the Oklahoma panhandle on my way back from a speaking engagement in Lubbock, Texas. It's really hard not to speed a little when you're out in the middle of nowhere. I crested a hill doing 75 mph in a 55 mph zone and sure enough, there was a cop at the top of the hill smiling a happy smile at the thought of getting that much closer to his daily quota and depositing a little more revenue into the coffers of his Podunk town's only major industry. I happily gave him my license, smiled when he handed me my ticket, and wished him a happy life since I knew he'd be stuck there in that sink hole and I would not. I also got a couple tickets after a bought a fast car. I no longer have that car and haven't received another ticket. Cops tend not to target guys in minivans.

Okay, I'm making fun of Oklahoma and the cop, but truth is, I was stupid for going too fast in an area where I couldn't see very far ahead. It was my fault. However, a more important point about these stories is that I've talked my way out of far more tickets than I've received, which is an important skill. However, I've never been stopped doing 100 mph around a school or running over some little old lady trying to cross the street, so talking one's way out of a ticket is rather relative. Fortunately, it's usually possible if you've simply made an honest mistake and are willing to admit it.

I'm also not just some yahoo who's driving his pickup truck in rural Kansas where there are no other cars and claiming to be a great driver. I drive my car in the Denver metro area usually along a stretch of interstate packed with cars. I used to make a thirty-five mile drive to see movies at least once or twice a week. The drive down was during rush hour, when the highway was full of cars, and the drive back was during the evening. The last three or four times the Governor of Colorado has declared a state of emergency because road conditions were too dangerous due to inclement weather, yours truly was driving (this was not voluntarily, mind you). The last time the Governor actually closed the highways due to snow, I was out driving (not because I'm stupid, but because I was out and had to return home). I've driven across the country and I've been driving in most of the bad traffic cities including New York, Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, and Seattle.

Is my excellent driving record simply luck? Is there a driving fairy that watches over me? I think not. I attribute my very successful driving career to some sound principles I've developed over my many years of driving. Now, I'm going to pass them on to you. This will make you a better driver, and potentially remove one more moron from the road making my enjoyment of driving just that much better and putting one less person on the road who might ram into me and cause me years of pain and medical bills. So, you see, this guide isn't only for you. It's for me too. Therefore, I would like to thank you for reading it.

1. Stay Away From Other People

Personally, I consider this a life lesson, not just a driving lesson, but I understand that not everybody in the world is the recluse that I am, so I accept that staying away from other people may not be embraced by the general public as a social philosophy. I can live with that. However, it is a vitally important driving philosophy that has probably saved my life numerous times.

When I say "stay away from other people" as it applies to driving, it means that you should keep your car as far away from other cars as humanly possible. When you drive, no matter where you are, whether you are driving in heavy traffic or all alone on the road, whether you are driving in good weather or bad, you should always keep your car in a position where you are as far from other cars as possible. You should seek out that spot on the road that is equidistantly far from all cars and try to stay there as long as possible. Frankly, it seems to me that very few people understand the benefits of this principle, thus the term "bumper-to-bumper" traffic.

It is my belief that if police officers across the country stopped giving tickets for speeding and started writing the majority of their tickets for tail-gating, they would encourage better driving and save far more lives. While speeding does increase your chance of having an accident because it lowers your reaction time should something suddenly happen that requires you to stop or slow down, it is not nearly the accident-causer that tailgating is. Most accidents, which are fender-benders and rear-end collisions, are caused not by speeding, but by the combination of speed and the accident-causing car's distance from the car it hits relative to its speed.

Let me put it this way, who is more likely to cause an accident: a driver going 80 mph on a nearly empty highway or a tailgater who's only doing 20mph, but is following the car in front of him so closely that a bag lady would have to lift her arms in the air just to squeeze between the two bumpers? I submit that most accidents occur because drivers aren't speeding, but are following other cars too closely no matter what the speed. If you learn the simple lesson of staying as far away from other cars, no matter what the traffic conditions, you will dramatically reduce your chance of an accident by dramatically increasing your ability to react to any given situation.

Perhaps I take this driving philosophy to the extreme, but it works very well. I've never hit anybody in my car. This is a philosophy that should be applied in every situation and for all the cars around you, not just those in front. I'm talking about the cars behind you and on the side of you. Doesn't it make sense that if you avoid driving alongside other cars, you'll reduce your chances of being hit? If a guy in a Porsche pulls up behind you and decides you're not going fast enough and the way he's going to make this clear to you is to drive right on your bumper, don't you decrease your chances of him hitting you if you simply get out of his way instead of speeding up or slamming on your brakes to teach him a lesson? I have never been rear-ended while moving because if somebody decides to tail-gate me, I just get out of the way or speed up or do whatever is possible to put as much distant as I can between that car and my car.

When I drive on the highway (in this case, two lanes), it is incredibly common to see the following: a clear left lane and a right lane full of cars, all going the speed limit, yet all following each other within two car lengths. I wonder if any of these people think the following to themselves when they get rear-ended: "But I was going the speed limit!" This is just stupid driving. If you come upon a group of cars like this and they're going too slow for you, it's a lot safer to step on the gas, get ahead of them, and find a safe, empty space on the road where you can travel at a speed that keeps you ahead of them and away from other cars.

2. Be Calm

People are far too angry these days about things that don't matter. Let's be honest, if you don't have the patience and self-control to keep your cool after somebody cuts you off in traffic, you have problems that run far deeper than simply getting mad at some anonymous driver who probably didn't get in front of you with the express intention to ruin your day anyway. If you get mad after every close encounter on the road, if you find yourself hot under the collar during every rush hour, you need more than a book on how to be a good driver. You need professional help. Becoming angry and enraged over how other people navigate their automobiles is a pretty good sign that it's not them you hate, but yourself or some aspect of your life. Try to remember this and your life will likely improve.

The term "road rage" is a relatively recent word combination that describes the behavior of some moron who decides to make it his goal in life to take revenge on the driver of another car because of some perceived driving slight. Let's review a few stories (fictionalized for your enjoyment, but based on actual fact):

1. In Arizona, 19-year-old Bobby Rodriguez is driving along the Interstate in his 1976 Ford Mustang. It's his first car, and he loves it, but he's on his way to his Uncle's place to get it checked out as it seems to have a few problems. The first problem is that it doesn't start very well when the temperature is over 100. The second problem is that it seems to stall at random times. Just as Bobby thinks about the stalling problem, the car stalls out. He was going 75mph in the far left lane, but now his speed is dropping rapidly and he can't change lanes because of the heavy traffic and the fact that cars are passing him on the right. A fast-moving van comes barreling up behind Bobby and is forced to slam on its brakes. The driver of the van, 35-year-old, Manny Gregory, becomes enraged. He's on his way to a meeting and he's already late, the third time he'll be late for a meeting this month. He knows his boss may fire him, and now this guy in the 1976 Mustang has made things worse. Manny is livid. This guy is going so slow, he must be trying to get Manny fired. It seems to take forever for the guy in the Mustang to get over. Manny glances at his watch. It's later than he thought. It's this guy's fault. Manny reaches into his glove compartment and pulls out a gun. As he passes the slowing Mustang on the left, Manny extends his arm and fires three shots at the Mustang, two of which hit Bobby. Bobby spends a week in the hospital and eventually dies.

2. Fred Smith is driving home in the afternoon on Virginia's George Washington Parkway when another driver passes him on the right and then cuts in front of him. Fred is furious. Doesn't this idiot know you don't pass on the right? Fred wants to make sure this guy knows what he did was rude and inconsiderate and that he doesn't do it again, so he speeds up to catch the guy. Fred gets up alongside the car and motions for the man to pull over. The man looks at Fred, gives him the finger, and steps on the gas. Fred pursues. The two cars reach speeds of over 100 mph eluding and chasing each other, but when they get too close around a turn, both drivers lose control of their cars, cross the center line, and cause an accident resulting in the deaths of two innocent drivers.

Try to make staying calm a personal challenge when you drive. If you are able to stay calm and enjoy the feeling of not letting random stuff that happens while you drive bother you, you will make better decisions on the road. You will be better able to avoid accidents and much less likely to cause them. You will be happier when you get to work and happier when you return home. You will be less likely to hit your wife, kids, or dog. You will be less likely to do damage to inanimate objects. Do you see how this works?

Being calm and being rational go together. Rational decisions are good. Irrational decisions are bad.

3. Avoid Distractions

Driving is an activity that requires concentration, so the more you do to prevent yourself from concentrating on the task at hand the more you increase your ability to notice that your speedometer is suddenly 20mph over the speed limit, of not noticing that police car parked behind an upcoming bridge, of causing an accident that may take your life or another.

There are so many ways that we distract ourselves from concentrating on driving that if aliens dropped down from the sky and studied our driving habits, they'd conclude we were insane.

Let's start with the ubiquitous cell phone. I'm not going to quote statistics regarding to what degree using a cell phone in a car increases your chance of an accident, but no matter what the percentage may be, everybody can agree that it increases it by some factor, so using a cell phone in a car is stupid. Anybody who brings their cell phone into their car to take and make phone calls really needs to ask themselves if a missed phone call is more important than their life or somebody else's life. The fact of the matter is, most of us do not need to make phone calls from our car or answer the phone while we are driving. Very few of us, despite what we might think, are that important. Most of our cell phone conversations that take place in the car are conversations that could have waited five or ten minutes or even an hour.

But for argument's sake, let's just say you refuse to eliminate the cell phone as a distraction while you are driving. You're just too important not to take calls. And there are just people you absolutely must talk to while you're in your car. Your life is too busy to make these calls any other time. After all, talking on the phone while driving is a huge time-saver. If this is you, then I suggest investing in an earpiece for your phone along with a cell phone stand so that you can learn to dial the phone without actually looking at it. See, you just put your little hand on the cell phone without taking your eyes off the road and dial the number because you've memorized where the keys are. Or, you can use bluetooth - this guide was written years ago, so give me a break. Do these things, and you are less likely to die in your car.

How else do we distract ourselves while driving? Some of us comb our hair or shave or apply lipstick while we drive. If you've done any of these things, you're an idiot. It's really just dumb luck that you haven't killed somebody yet. During rush hour, I've actually seen people with the newspaper open on their steering wheels. Is it too much to ask that these people be sterilized? Dumb doesn't even begin to describe this practice. If shaming you into stopping these activities is the only way to make you aware of how absolutely idiotic they are, then so be it.

Of course, there are the simpler things, like simply talking to a friend or watching the scenery or telling your children to shut up or you're going to turn around and go home. Every one of these things tends to promote taking one's eyes off the road and increasing one's chances of an accident. They are best avoided.

The question is: how are they avoided? The answer is: self-discipline. Americans are far too obsessed with the notion that we should have every thing we want and every convenience we want. Really, it's not going to be too long before a car maker designs a car with a television screen on the steering wheel ("For those times when you're parked and need to catch that new episode of "ER".) Be disciplined about how you act in the car. First, as I've indicated, always commit yourself to being calm. This will reduce arguments. However, also commit yourself to establishing some rules. This is particularly important if you've already been in several accidents and are trying to avoid them in the future. Odds are good that you allow yourself to be distracted behind the wheel. Well, now is the time to turn that cell phone off every time you get in the car. Now is the time to get up half and hour early so you can have that cup of coffee and apply that lipstick so that the car is not the place for either one.

Remember, a little self-discipline will not only go a long way to making your driving better, but your life better.

4. Be Alert

DISCLAIMER: Anybody who knowingly gets in a car after having had two or more drinks is a moron. Worse, that person, at least in most states, is also a criminal. Interpretation can produce all sorts of funny rationalizations. Under no circumstances am I suggesting that anything can make driving drunk or sleepy a safe activity. Anybody with even the least bit of sense will find another way to travel if they're impaired.

Being alert and avoiding distractions go hand-in-hand, but there are a few additional aspects of being alert that make it a step by itself.

Being alert means not being tired or drunk. Driving while either impaired from lack of sleep or impaired from alcohol are about the same thing. Drive this way and you are a danger to yourself and a danger to everybody else. Having had a friend killed by a drunk driver, I can tell you that my personal feelings are pretty extreme when it comes to this subject. However, the fact of the matter is, we all drive when we are in less than optimal conditions. I will admit, despite my friend's death, I have still driven home from a party or two where getting pulled over by a police officer would have gotten me a DUI.

The irony of this section is that driving while sleepy is just as dangerous as driving while intoxicated. To be honest, I've been a lot closer to being in an accident when I was tired than when I had had a few drinks and drove. But while I can write comfortably about techniques for driving if you feel yourself tiring, I cannot write comfortably about driving techniques for being intoxicated because it's illegal. How often do we hear about somebody getting a ticket for "driving while sleepy"? Never, yet it's just as dangerous.

How do we deal with the fact that despite our better judgment, we've all driven in some kind of impaired state? In a perfect world and in a perfect guide, I could simply say: don't do it. Just say no. Of course, this is an absolutely unrealistic way to deal with the problem. How about some good advice? Take step number 1, for instance. If you are in an impaired state, you should get in the habit of taking step number one to the extreme so as to give yourself even more time to make decisions. Decide on some simple rules for yourself and stick to them:

1. I won't pass anyone

2. I'll stay twice as far away from other cars as I normally would

These two simple rules will help get you home alive, and better yet, keep you from killing anybody else. Sleepy? Woozy? Don't turn on the heat. Roll down the windows, especially if it's cold outside. Cold can help keep you alert. Heat makes you sleepy. Pinch yourself every ten seconds if that is what it takes. Better yet, stop the car and call somebody to pick you up.

By no means am I advocating driving while impaired in some fashion. I'm just accepting the reality that people do it and some of you are probably reading this book. No matter what rules you follow, driving while impaired increases the chances you will die in your car or kill somebody else. One of the things about Americans that's kind of sick is this: because of television, video games, and the news-as-entertainment phenomena, we've turned killing into a game. Unless we're directly connected to a death, few of us really feel anything when we hear on the radio or see on the television "two people were killed in drunk driving accidents today". So, imagine this if you will: you wake up one morning in a hospital and the doctor tells you that you'll be okay, but you killed a five-year-old girl in a car accident last night. Could you live with yourself? Every time you get in a car in some kind of impaired state, you should ask yourself that question. Your own death won't mean that much. You'll be dead. But could you live with the unnecessary death of another person on your conscience? If you have the self-discipline to know when you are impaired or when you might be impaired, make other arrangements to get home.

There are, of course, other things that fall under the heading of "be alert". Good drivers use their mirrors, both rear-view and side. On average, you should glance at your rear-view mirror at least once every ten seconds (and it just takes a quick glance, not a long, involved stare). This activity has all sorts of positive effects on driving, but generally speaking, it simply gives you more information and makes you more aware of the cars around you. It helps you change lanes because you know where the other cars are around you, whether they are gaining on you or falling back. By checking both the rear-view mirror and the side mirrors, you will have a clear mental picture of where your car is sitting in the grand scheme of traffic and therefore, you'll be able to make better decisions. And as I'll point out later, drivers that are more aware generally are the ones who drive manual transmissions.

5. Think Ahead

Thinking ahead is another one of those things that our society doesn't seem to value very highly. Instead of being taught to plan and think ahead, we're taught to buy on impulse, eat on impulse, and make snap decisions. When these types of decisions are made, they are usually bad ones, but if the only person it hurts is the person who makes the decision, then at least it's self-contained. However, frequently people who don't think ahead make decisions that affect other people's lives and then we have a problem.

Not thinking ahead and making impulsive decisions while driving can easily lead to death - death for the decision-maker and death for others.

The best example of an impulsive decision that causes car accidents is when people make lane changes without signaling and without checking their blind spot. It happens all the time. You've probably seen somebody do it. You've probably done it yourself. Most of the time, the impulsive decision doesn't lead to anything. There's nobody there and the change goes on without incident. All too frequently, there's an accident.

Thinking ahead not only involves planning out one's moves on the road, but planning out trips in general. Of course, driving is as much a reactive experience as a proactive one, so there are always going to be times when even the best plan is rendered moot by a rude driver, an unexpected stop, or an act of nature. Nonetheless, a good driver, no matter how short or long the trip, will always give some thought to his or her route. Knowing where you're going is as important a thing on the road as it is in life, so the habit has ramifications that extend far beyond driving.

What kinds of things should you think about when thinking ahead? Well, first there's the big picture of any driving excursion. Know the route you're going to take. Anticipate possible problems, like traffic, and think of alternate routes. If you don't know where you're going, look at a map.

Both before and during the actual driving, thinking ahead while driving can make the difference between an accident, a close call, and a carefree trip. If you're going to be on a particular road for a long distance, where will you be driving on that road? If you're going to be on the highway, which lane will you drive in and when will you initiate the lane change to exit the highway?

Step #6 is specifically about merging, but if, preceding a merge, you think far enough ahead, you can change that experience, which many people find stressful, from a difficult experience to an easy one. For instance, if you're ready to move from the middle lane to the exit lane in preparation to exit the highway, thinking ahead gives you plenty of time to look for a large space between cars so that you can get over easily. If you're in a traffic jam, nervous that nobody will let you in, thinking ahead gives you time to look for that slow accelerating truck to get in front of as it tries to get up to speed. This is, in fact, one of my favorite strategies for changing lanes in traffic - just find the vehicle that is likely to accelerate the slowest and accelerate to merge in front of it.

Would you believe there are five more steps to this guide? For driving? Well, there are. Step 6-10 are in Part 2.