Father Blog: The Public Swimming Pool

Whether or not you believe in evolution, it's hard not to take a two-year-old to a pool - in this case, a pool dedicated, in part, to the amusement of very young children and their parents - and not start hallucinating that you're watching a scene from "Gorillas in the Mist".

Most of the parents linger close to their children, watching them closely to make sure they don't do something odd like drink the pool water or drown. The parents scratch themselves occasionally and when their kid's nose begins to run, they saunter over and wipe it off with their hand and rinse the hand in the water (okay, maybe that's just me).

When the pool becomes crowded, the parents and their kids navigate between each other carefully - sometimes not - with a cautious eye out to watch that their own doesn't get kicked in the head by some careless passerby. If one parent knows another parent, they will move closer together and chat, yet still keep that eye on their kid.

Depending on the number of kids a single parent may be in charge of watching, that parent clearly loses control when the number of kids exceeds the number of arms. I've concluded that it is nothing short of cruel to expect an adult to watch three kids at one time and that, if you are a parent, you are also doing your environment a huge disservice by attempting it. Honestly, women are a bit better than this than men. It's pretty common to see some guy trying to corral three children and give up within seconds, realizing what a completely fruitless endeavor it is.

I'm not sure whether pool manners are genetic or nurtured, but there sure are a lot of parents who don't seem to give a rat's behind how their children behave in public.The pool definitely separates good parents and bad parents, though I admit to withholding judgment somewhat given that I'm only in charge of a single two-year-old who can't really cause much trouble other than to scream at the top of his lungs. I suppose he could take an intentional dump in the pool too, but that seems unlikely. And I admit to encountering those moments at home where, once I sit down, I don't really care what Tyler does. He could beat the cat with a shovel and I might be unlikely to move because I finally got off my feet for a few seconds. So, I sometimes sympathize with those parents at the pool who are just watching their kids run roughshod over the entire area with that resigned look on their faces.

There are two easily identifiable types of parents in this scenario - the ones who care how their kids behave and how their actions impact others, and those who don't. The ones who don't will go so far as to engage in disruptive activities with their children, like throwing balls all over the place and splashing about. It seems to me that when there are children ranging in ages from infants all the way through teenagers, parents might consider discussing some rules with their kids, like don't jump up and down when there are five 6-month-olds surrounding you at the end of the pool you're not supposed to be in anyway.

No doubt, the pool is a zoo. What makes it even more so are the glass walls on one end where observers can sit and take in the whole event. Given I visited the zoo recently and went to visit the gorillas myself, the parallels seem entirely unavoidable.